"plot twist".

I don't really know how to start this blog post so I guess I will just jump right in there...Hi, I have symphysis pubis dysfunction or SPD. (Say wha? Ya, I know, right?)

1. 

   Normal Female Pelvis

   Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) is a condition that causes excessive movement of the pubic symphysis, either anterior or lateral, as well as associated pain, possibly because of a misalignment of the pelvis.

Pelvis with SPD

Pelvis with SPD

So here's the story. When Chris and I got pregnant we were beyond thrilled. We had been planning this pregnancy for about a year and were excited to not have difficultly conceiving. For me I was slightly nervous, just knowing the toll a pregnancy can take on the body, but I was very determined to maintain my fitness routine throughout this pregnancy so that I could have a healthy pregnancy and strong labor/delivery, also, I was hoping for a quick(er) postpartum recovery.

The first month (well really four months) I was sooo nauseous, unlike my first two pregnancies with the girls, but I prevailed. I continued to go to the gym and workout like normal...well, with an occasional break to go gag or barf, haha. But all was well. Then about 10 weeks into my pregnancy I started noticing pain in my "groin" area. I never remembered having pain "down there" with my other pregnancies until my last couple months and it was very bearable. I spoke with my O.B. about the pain I was having and he told me it was probably lower ligament pain and common in pregnancy. "Well duh!" I thought. I had just done a rigorous HITT workout on the treadmill so I pawned it of on me pulling a muscle (serves me right for being on a treadmill anyway, nasty things. Haha). 

As I waited for my "pulled groin muscle" to heal the pain only became more intense. I was becoming completely unable to do lunges,squats, or jog; and walking or getting into my car was becoming painful. The pain became especially intense at night. One night when I was laying down for bed the pain was so bad that I literally cried out. I remember leaning over and telling Chris "something is wrong, this is NOT lower ligament pain." That night, after a complete sobbing meltdown, that I am sure I freaked the shiz out of my husband with, I did a lot of googling and, rather quickly, I was educated for the first time about SPD. I remember reading a blog with a long list of symptoms and I had every. single. one. At first I felt relief, finally I knew what was giving me so much grief; but the more I read the less comfort I felt and the more I felt nervous about what was ahead of me. 

The hormone relaxin is released into the body to prepare your pelvis to deliver a child, SPD occurs when relaxin relaxes a little (or a lot) too much. Any separation 9mm or more is considered SPD and is extremely painful. SPD doesn't heal itself until after delivery and pain levels generally heighten throughout pregnancy. 

Heck, at the moment I was reading this I was only 13 or 14 weeks along and I thought I was dying (haha, If I only knew what was coming)! Then I started to look for ways to help or prevent pain...don't sit too long, don't stand too long, don't spread you legs wide, don't lift heavy objects, go up stairs slowly-one foot at a time, use (a million) pillows when sleeping...the list just went on and on. Then I was like, "okay I can do that, I like pillows"...so how do I exercise? That's when google punched me in the face. Oh you want to exercise...well don't...at least not the way I was used to exercising. Short and slow walks are typical workouts for women with SPD. (Oh boy! Really? Nothing? Nada? Seriously?)

Presently, I have 11 weeks to go. Sedentary positions to large movements are intertwined with medium to extreme/intense pain. Haha, the girls and Chris are so used to me taking sudden gasps through my teeth that they barely even notice it anymore. Settling into bed is still the most intense but once I get settled in I can slowly feel my body relax and I can sleep well-ish (I mean, let's be real, even the most comfortable pregnant woman doesn't sleep all that well, am I right?)

Anyways, I have also found that a labor without medication is recommended for women with SPD because it is imperative that you be able to feel how your pelvis is positioned during labor and delivery to prevent further injury to the pelvis. So the bearded man and I signed up for Lamaze and I'm going to practice really hard so that maybe I can do whole L&D things without meds...we will see. (I could use all the crossed fingers I can get, haha.) 

Another thing I wanted to mention is that while dealing with this it has been really hard to stay "up" mentally. Although I try not to whine or complain, sometimes just describing how I'm feeling comes off that way. It get's old hearing myself talk about how "Ooo, that hurts" or "I can't do that" or "I need help" even if it's all true and informative. I hate being unable to do things. I hate slowing my family down from doing things. I hate hurting. And all that together can really take a toll on ones "up-ness". It's been a real struggle to stay positive. But I am determined. My determination alone may not help me stay physically fit during this pregnancy, but it can help me to stay mentally fit. 

So do I hurt? Yes. Is it really, really bad. Yes. Are some days almost unbearable? Yes. Do I wish this wasn't happening to me. Yes.

But I will NOT let it get the best of me!

So eat that you dirty little SPD. [Sticks tongue out and makes a mean face]    

Here's some positive quotes I found on the good 'ol pinterest that are helping me keep my chin up...maybe they can help you too.